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| [ Christina Aguilera - "At Last" ]
I'm at that stage in life where things become very uncertain. To a point where you are more worried than excited about the endless possibilities of destinations. I'm quite busy these days, to be honest. Thesis is nearing its end even though I'm not ready for it to just yet. But I'm kind of chasing clock and thesis simultaneously and I'm pretty blessed because I'm usually stumbling upon the deadlines and still finishing it. Quality of my work, however, is questionable. But you can't blame me. I hate thesis. If i was passionate about it, I'd be done with it already and celebrating and starting a new thesis on top of it. Haha. I kid I kid. I never want to write another one of these again in my life.
Job search is continuing. Thesis and job search together is not a good combination. I get too excited looking for jobs even though none of it would come true for me if I don't finish my thesis on time and do a decent job at it. Doing both at the same time period is a bad idea for someone like me. But I am slowly applying, taking my time and doing multiple researches online during my thesis breaks. I sound like a nerd who lives between piles of papers and constantly writing my thesis. Truthfully, I'm not. I do my work in chunks. There will be 3 days of all-nighters for my thesis and complete 20 pages of new contents. Then the week after that, you can find me the club with a drink in my hand. Being a graduate student is stressful. Undergraduate years, no offense, was a joke. I dunno why I suffered through it so much. Oh yes, I remember. It was men. LOL. I kid.
January is almost over. I have 4 months left in school. A lot of questions in my mind. But a lot of faith in me as well. I'm not too worried even though I see many people around me suffering through tough economy and job losses. But for some reason, all I see are opportunities and opened doors. Maybe it'll hit me later on when I realize all the opened doors had glass covers on them. But who cares? I feel good and faithful right now. And that's what will get me through it all.
Monday at noon, I propose my thesis (initial defense) in front of a panel of faculties. Although it won't last more than an hour, I have a feeling it'll be one of the longest hour of my life. But it's okay because I'll somehow get through it, answer all their attacking questions and then move on and come to my final thesis defense in March.
I kinda can't wait. Meanwhile, there are so many different "signs" that keeps leading me to think that I'm supposed to may be somewhere other than where I originally wanted to be. I guess I have some time to figure that one out. Thesis first. (I sound like a thesis OCD)... how sad. Wish me luck on Monday. I know I'm getting drunk at my house on Monday night. With my puppy. LOL.
Pictures.
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| [ bebo norman - great light of the world ]
i have always took some time each year to write down what i'm thankful for right around this time of the year...
this year, i've been distracted in so many different ways with really not that great excuses, it is sunday now and am finally sitting down to write these down... i know i don't have to... but it gives me a chance to truly realize how good i have it...
- my ever loving parents who never ever let me fall. their love is beyond words.
- my health. i haven't had a single day this year where i suffered to a point where i couldn't handle it.
- financial stability. throughout the horrible economy and rising prices, God has provided just enough - every single time.
- my car. it runs fine. it did cost me a few hundred bucks this year for little bit of this and that but it is my feet.
- falling gas prices. hallelujah!
- my jobs. i have gotten lucky with my jobs. stable income, great co workers and great friends. oh yes. free coffee!
- my friends. i have so many who are priceless and i cannot do without them. my life would be colorless.
- my puppy. porkchop has been an amazing addition to my life. he's perfect. he knows how to make me smile. every single time.
- school. i don't like school, oh no. but the fact that i have not ripped out all my hair and threw a tantrum before giving up on it.. haha. i'm still in it. ready to graduate. very soon. after a very difficult thesis is complete. *crossing fingers*
- music. keeps me sane. and i always have access to it.
- going back to church. the motivation, the reasons and the church i have here.. to go back to.. amazing. how God plans things. shouldn't have been this long of a break but He called me back and i am ever so thankful...
- my boyfriend. he's so good to me.
- the gators. haha. what a great season. always proud to be an orange and blue girl.
i know i have tons more but that's the general list of things. i am blessed. always have been and always have been "too busy" in my own world to take time to give thanks. silly me. how human.
NYC here i come next week. gotta finish the first 3 chapters of my thesis then winter break and christmas! then.. 2009. speechless. | | |
| i'm just... really really really tired...
i have the fire, the desire, the motivation and the goals...
but i'm just really really really tired today...
oh well. tomorrow will be better.
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